JCJ stood on the front steps of his modest home on Fleming Street, the morning mist still hanging low over East Vancouver. The bells of the old Lutheran German church at the corner tolled softly — a sound that somehow carried both strength and humility.
Arnold Schwarzenegger stood beside him, hands on his hips, squinting up the street like a general surveying a battlefield.
JCJ said with quiet pride, “You see, Arnold… this is a good neighborhood. Honest people. The church keeps the peace. You can hear the choir every Sunday morning. No Hollywood ego here — just grace.”
Arnold nodded, his accent thick but his tone sincere. “Ya… I like it. The architecture — it’s authentic. Not like those Beverly Hills fortresses. You can breathe here.”
JCJ chuckled. “That’s why you’re moving in. We’ll get you a nice two-bedroom down the block. And no limousines — you’re taking the SkyTrain now. Every morning to Rupert Station Studios. You ride with the people. You see what real Vancouver life is like.”
Arnold raised an eyebrow. “The SkyTrain? Me? With the commuters?”
JCJ grinned. “That’s right. No red carpet. No security detail. Just you, your gym bag, and a protein shake. You’ll get more inspiration on that train than in any boardroom.”
Arnold let out a booming laugh. “JCJ, you’re crazy… but I like your style. Maybe I’ll even bring my bike — ride to the station!”
“Perfect,” JCJ said, handing him a folded city map. “Welcome to Fleming Street, neighbor. Just remember — church bells ring at nine sharp. Don’t sleep in.”
Arnold looked toward the steeple, the cross gleaming faintly in the morning sun. “Then I guess it’s judgment day every Sunday,” he said with a wink.
JCJ smiled. “Exactly, my friend. But this time, you’re not terminating anyone — you’re redeeming yourself.”
Setting: A quiet, opulent lounge at a charity event in Monaco, 2002. The murmur of wealthy guests fills the air.
Characters:
JCJ (Joseph C. Jukic): Observant, sharp, with a knowing smile.
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Relaxed, but with the keen awareness of a public figure. A glass of mineral water in his hand.
(JCJ leans slightly towards Arnold, nodding discreetly towards a distinguished older gentleman in a impeccably tailored suit holding court across the room.)
JCJ: You see that man over there, Arnold? The one speaking with the curator?
Arnold: (Squints slightly, then nods) Lord Rothschild. Of course. A powerful man. Very connected.
JCJ: Exactly. The richest man in Babylon. The king of his particular mountain. It’s an old world, that one. All quiet handshakes and generational influence.
(Arnold turns to JCJ, intrigued by the tone.)
Arnold: And what mountain are we on, Joe?
JCJ: (Chuckles softly) A louder one. A brighter one. One with explosions and one-liners that echo in every kid’s head from Detroit to Delhi. Seeing him just now made me think of you.
Arnold: (Raises an eyebrow, a playful smirk forming) What, you want me to start wearing a pinstripe suit and buy a bank? I tried putting on a tie for Junior. It didn’t work.
JCJ: No, no. Nothing like that. Think about it. He is the absolute pinnacle of his world. The archetype. When people think of that kind of immense, almost untouchable financial power, they think of a Rothschild.
(JCJ pauses, letting the comparison hang in the air.)
JCJ: And when anyone, anywhere on this planet, thinks of an action star… the biggest, the best, the very definition of the word… they think of you. You are the Rothschild of action.
Arnold: (Leans back, his smirk softening into a genuine, thoughtful expression. He lets out a low grunt of appreciation.) Hah. That’s a new one. I’ve been called the Austrian Oak, the Governator… never that.
JCJ: It’s true. You didn’t just play the part; you built the genre. You are the kingdom. And that’s why I say you’re not just the biggest. You are possibly the last action hero.
Arnold: (Nods, his voice dropping to a more reflective tone) The last? Because the world is changing.
JCJ: Exactly. It’s all becoming green screens and wirework. Anyone can be a hero if the pixels are good enough. But what you did… that was physical. It was palpable. It was real. Like old money versus new money. There’s a weight to it. A substance. They can make a thousand action stars now, but they can’t make another you. The era of the one-man empire… the king… is ending.
(Arnold looks out over the glittering crowd, then back at JCJ. He raises his glass of water.)
Arnold: To kings, then. In all their kingdoms. The quiet ones…
(He gestures with his glass towards Lord Rothschild.)
Arnold: …and the loud ones.
(He taps his glass gently against JCJ’s.)
JCJ: To the last king of Babylon.
Arnold: (A wide, iconic grin finally breaks across his face) I still like the sound of that. But the night is young. Maybe I’ll go say hello. See if he wants to be in a movie. I have a script about a banker who fights aliens…
JCJ: (Laughing) Now that’s a handshake I’d pay to see.
(They both laugh, the sound cutting through the dignified hum of the room, two men perfectly aware of their respective domains.)
The clank of iron plates. ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER, in a tight-fitting sweatshirt, is meticulously loading a leg press machine.
Across from him, struggling to lift a modestly weighted barbell, is JCJ (JOSEPH CHRISTIAN JUKIC). He is a mountain of muscle that has settled into a valley of comfort. A significant, soft pot belly strains against his too-small workout shirt. His face is red with exertion and distress.
JCJ (Grunting between reps) …and you gotta believe me, Arnold. On my mother’s name, Nelly is not a pig. It’s a libel! A slander! Her current… amplitude… is a temporary situation. A hormonal thing. Very medical.
He drops the bar with a clatter, his own belly jiggling from the impact. He pats it ruefully.
JCJ We’re both on a journey, you see? Mine’s just… further along. Hers is just beginning. But does the world see that? No!
Arnold grunts, sliding another 45-pound plate onto the machine with a definitive clang.
ARNOLD The world sees what it wants to see. The journey is what matters.
JCJ But they stand in our way! It’s the same story, all my life, Arnold. All my life! There is always some authority figure. A fun-wrecker. A joy-sheriff.
ARNOLD Who this time? The landlord? The doctor?
JCJ (Waving a dismiss, jelly-like hand) Worse. A cabal. A whole network! It started with Sister Helen who said our shared enthusiasm for the church bake sale was “gluttonous.” Then Mr. T, the gym teacher, said we were “monopolizing the rope climb.” Monopolizing!
JCJ tries to pace, but it’s more of a waddle, his belly leading the way.
JCJ Then her doctor—her own doctor!—says our dates to the all-you-can-eat buffet are “a shared death wish.” A death wish! I was being a supportive partner! Her parents said I was a “bad influence.” Our mutual friends staged an intervention… at a salad bar, Arnold! A salad bar! You know neither of us can get full on leaf lettuce!
Arnold stops what he’s doing. He turns and looks JCJ dead in the eye, his famous intensity focused on JCJ’s soft, desperate face.
ARNOLD Joseph. Look at me. When I wanted to come to America, they said my body was too freakish. When I wanted to be in movies, they said my accent was a joke. They were doctors of doubt. Teachers of “no.” They were… authority figures.
JCJ nods, his chins wobbling, desperate for the wisdom.
JCJ What did you do? How do we defeat the network? Look at me! I can barely defeat this gravity!
ARNOLD You don’t defeat them on their terms. You win on yours. If you want to take this woman, Nelly, on a date… you look at the nun, the teacher, the doctor, the parents… and you say…
(Arnold drops his voice to its most iconic, gravelly whisper)
ARNOLD “I’ll be back.“
JCJ freezes. A single, triumphant tear rolls down his cheek, cutting a path through the sweat. He looks down at his own belly, not with shame, but with newfound purpose.
JCJ “I’ll be back.” …We’ll be back.
ARNOLD (Nodding) But first, you have to go. You go to her. You take her to the buffet. You get the fried shrimp, the prime rib, the ketogenic, paleo foods. You be the man she needs. The workouts can start tomorrow.
JCJ stands up as straight as his belly allows, his despair replaced with radiant, caloric purpose. He places a meaty hand on Arnold’s shoulder.
JCJ Thank you, Arnold. You’ve freed me. The obstacle is the way! Our obesity is temporary, but brotherhood… brotherhood is forever.
He turns and waddles out of the gym with the determination of a Terminator who really loves pie, not even stopping to pick up his water bottle.
Arnold watches him go. He looks down at the fully loaded leg press, then down at his own impossibly flat stomach.
ARNOLD (To himself, utterly sincere) It is good to have a goal.
He sits down at the machine and begins his set, the weight moving effortlessly.
